56. “Free Tibet” Guest Blog

Ed hates me, and my PC thuggishness.

I was hesitant to write about this one because I am not an expert on foreign politics, world diplomacy or Asian history. But then I thought, hey, if millions of students worldwide who know as little as I do can support this “Free Tibet”, why can’t I exercise my privileges to talk about my disdain for it? I am therefore the logical one to counter them. I may even ask them for their top five button pressing places and links their most compelling Wikipedia articles. I have no idea why, with all the fucked up things in this world, Tibet is being vicariously made into that mangy stray cat who plays everybody’s back door for milk and scraps, but I think it may lie in the hands of that one determined organization and that horribly ambiguous motto. That is what I hate. Please notice the quotations.

“Free Tibet”, what the hell is that? Bring democracy to Tibet? Sever its Chinese shackles and tell it to run like the wind? And more importantly who is supposed to be doing this? That is especially unclear. This motto lacks a second proper noun or at least proper courtesy. If I worked in a place where these buttons were made I might suggest that we attach arbitrary names to them so that people may one day stop standing around with their thumbs up their asses nodding their heads at vague and affirmative propaganda (Got Milk?). Perhaps if they saw their name they would then feel a little more responsible for their ideologies they are so driven to instil. So you know, rather than “Free Tibet”, next time I would see a button that said “Ed, Please Free Tibet” and I’d get right on that. Of course if I did actually work in a place where these buttons where made and suggested such a thing I’d probably lose my tongue for combating prototypical cash cows with innovation, why? Because like most irrelevant scraps of metal those buttons probably came all the way from a very hot assembly floor in an equally oppressed and troubled country, in fact, please play along at home if you can, if you have a “Free Tibet” button on right now, turn it around…Could it? Could it possibly have been made in China? If so make your way to your shower (there will be a lot of blood) and drive the pin of said button into your head to relieve the pressure against your skull for you clearly have shit for brains. Then go find a dictionary (a real one made of paper so that you learn three other words along your way. If you can’t find a dictionary check under your self-awareness for one, you may have been using it to prop that up like the busted end of a couch) anyways just look up the word “hypocritical” and then be careful not to paper cut yourself on your way to the thesaurus, which you should find firmly lodged in your ass, and should in fact confirm that yes, that is what you actually are, you hypocritical ass.

How much more aware could the world even be right now about Tibet? Actually there is a surprising amount. Some even say that a conventionally “Free Tibet” would entail handing the country over to a man, the Dali Lama, whose ambition has been to create a feudal society where he would be king. But this really isn’t even the futility of the phrase “Free Tibet”, the fact of the matter is that China is a communist world superpower - they call the shots – big time, and they are not having this, there is just no way. And you know that gold fish of yours might look as though it would be a lot more natural and happier if you set it free in the ocean but I kind of doubt that is in his best interest. A really sad thing is that because of the oppression of information in Tibet many who live there are beginning to believe that because of all this support, primarily youth, primarily fashionable, that a vast army is actually materializing on its border and that yes freedom is coming riding down the mountain on a pale white horse. China does not like this idea of false hope, and thus, it coils tighter and tighter increasing economic and civil strife for the victimized inhabitants. I am not writing this to say that nothing should be done, I am not writing this because I hate the idea of a free Tibet, I hate “Free Tibet”, there is an unfortunately very subtle difference. China is not intimidated or impressed by a bunch of well off western kids swinging from and writing “Free Tibet” on the Golden Gate Bridge, I wonder where they’re climbing equipment was made, nay probably invented. China has been around for thousands of years and intends to do so for the next thousand years, we must be realistic and careful with a country so prolific and important to our everyday lives. It is not impossible to end the suffering of the people in Tibet but to think that China can be bullied by the self righteous utopian day dreams incited by those two iconic words is very misguided. Those words piss me off so much the more I even think of them, it is such a smug and brash fuck you to the establishment that I can almost see why it is so cool. Remember when you were young and your parents took something away from you like say, your Gameboy, what did you say? “Free Gameboy” “Fuck You. Gameboy.” How well did that work out.

Well I’m done…hmm upon a reread I almost sounded somewhat educated on the matter, and you know all I did was read couple online journals that weren’t asking me to make a donation. I think life could be a lot better for the people in Tibet, I think it is in within our power to make it happen.

…Oh sorry was that final message a little unclear, it’s just that I’m finding it difficult to summarize such a serious problem in two words let alone figure out my target market. Plus I’m kind of busy working on my own button right now - I’m having a little more luck thinking of the two words to direct to both the murderous dictatorships and whoever conceived and in fact truly believes that those damn buttons are making a difference to solve them.

“Please Stop.”

Available in Blue, Black, Pink, and of course

“Fuck You.”

P.S. Don’t “boycott” the Olympics, even if that means watching zero events rather than your usual two. The athlete’s did not invent totalitarianism and they train incredibly hard to get to where they are. Their dreams of a Gold medal may not seem anymore valid than some people’s dreams of a Free Tibet, but they have worked a lot harder to realize them and why tarnish that with your frustration and fashion statements. Thanks.

~ by thingsifuckinghate on April 30, 2008.